even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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