Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You left your phone here
Wait...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
