I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
