she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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