I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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