My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
