So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
