3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
