Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
