I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize