Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just googled if crying burns calories
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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