let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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