I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
