I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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