Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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