That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
