I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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