I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
