Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think my moral compass just broke
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
