one two three fourrrrnication!
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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