I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize