jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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