bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
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