And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
