How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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