Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
