what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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