Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
