...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize