Got a toothbrush?
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize