I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
