its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
