Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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