Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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