I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We are two peas in an std pod
There's always time for handjobs
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize