so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize