Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
