Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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