The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
