I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
