OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
