Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
And then he peed in my hair
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