some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
