Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
