Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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