So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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