ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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