I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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