some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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