What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
