yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
