We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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