He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
