She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
