My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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