He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
