The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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